Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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