The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
