she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
