i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.