My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
