that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".