just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's blow job season.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well I just put wine in my tea
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
