I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
