He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
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We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
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The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize