i think my tv is drunk
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
