What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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