I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
