who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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