I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize