my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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