Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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