I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
