I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
