i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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