I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
