I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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