Why are handjobs necessary in class?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Rumble strips road head = magical
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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