i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
