This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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