clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize