Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
