why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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