i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
