your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
