ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
