in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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