About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize