Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Oh god it's open bar.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
