who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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