there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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