hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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