Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize