i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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