what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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