Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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