You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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