5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
