I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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