I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
