Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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