i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
