is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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