Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
