God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
