she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
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There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
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