Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
false alarm. still invincible.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
