If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Do vagina's smell?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
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I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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