im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize