Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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