wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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