matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
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did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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