im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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